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elsieandelmerCOLUMBUS, OH- Borden Dairy Products’ founder Elsie The Cow and Elmer’s Glue president Elmer The Bull have confirmed they will be ending their fifty year marriage. Divorce papers filed last week stated irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split. Co-workers and those closest to the couple were surprised not at the news of the separation, but that the marriage went on as long as it did. “Things went pretty well in the beginning, but after about five of six years things started to go sour. Elsie was relentless she would milk every argument for all it was worth.” said former Borden plant manager William Bunyan. “They couldn’t communicate. Elmer would come home from work and just plop down on the couch glued to the TV,” said family friend Connie McCullough.

The couple who met at The New York World’s Fair in 1955 became an item shortly after the dairy giant’s chemical division acquired the struggling adhesive company. The Bordens admitted that their bond was superficial at best. “The marketing division thought it would be great for the company’s image and so we went along with it. Before we knew it we were trapped in a very sticky situation” Elmer confessed.

“If there was any good that came out of all this it was our four wonderful children” Elsie added. The Borden children: Beulan, Beauregard , Larabee and Lobelia currently run the family business. The Elder Borden had this to offer: “Mom and Dad always had their issues. That’s just the way it was. If they can live out their remaining days apart and happy then I’m ok with that. What’s done is done. It’s no use crying over spilled milk.”

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