KNOXVILLE, TN- Theodore Bromley Jr., a 28 year old service station attendant and amateur extreme sports enthusiast suffered minor injures Monday when he was struck in the shoulder by a shotgun blast. Retired Mountain Dew spokesperson Willy “Gran’ Pappy” Hillbilly, 73 fired the shots after allegedly seeing Bromley exiting his barn with a case of the heavily caffeinated soft drink. “That feller’s lucky I didn’t blow his dang head clear off” said cantankerous curmudgeon. Pappy, states he still has a fondness for tangy citrus flavored soda despite being dropped as Mountain Dew’s spokesmen several years ago after the company opted to go in a new more athletic direction. “These young whipper-snappers with their shiny bicycles and newfangled snow ridin’ contraptions gettin’ vertical an’ doin’ whirlybirds ‘n such. I reckon they think they’re pretty extreme. Well we’ll see just how extreme they are after I fill their britches full of buck shot.” Pappy went on to say.